Tears

At the risk of sounding like a crazy person, I am going to tell you that I cried this morning. As soon as I got up, I couldn’t wait to start working on the last two verses of the book of Philippians. Then I read the commentary about these last greetings of the book. I took a break for breakfast and came back to try to think on the words and cement the last four verses. Suddenly I was overcome with a feeling of longing to know Paul better and the sense that he had become such a good friend, someone I admired so much. I felt like I had just moved away from him now that I finished the memorization and I wouldn’t be hearing from him so often anymore. I missed him, in anticipation.

Okay, I know that’s dumb, for I don’t plan on abandoning the book of Philippians. In fact, the plan is to recite the whole book every single day for 100 days. That means until July 10th. In addition, I will continue to do so weekly and eventually monthly for, well, I guess forever, so I don’t forget what I have learned. I hope when I am old (that should be in about one more year) and have lost all my other memories, I can still delight in God’s word. Still and all, I had a sense of loss and fulfillment and joy all at the same time.

I mentioned yesterday in my devotional with the other ministers at church, that I have never done anything that has added more to my spiritual life than this project. I feel like I have literally eaten of God’s Word. What a joy this has been.

After a couple of false starts (always choking on the first verse), I managed to record, all at one sitting my recitation of the whole book. It takes about 15 minutes. I am not deluded to think you have time to sit down and watch me recite the whole book, but nevertheless, I am putting the video here on my blog, at the end of this post. You can watch the beginning and end, if so inclined. I did not forget any verses. I stumbled on mistakes about three times. I found lots of “small” mistakes of prepositions (I guess they are deadly in any language) and word inversions, but nothing that changed the sense of the verse. I marked all the mistakes and will be working diligently over the next week or so to correct those errors. It’s not that I am a perfectionist (okay, okay maybe a little), but I figure if I’ve gone to all this trouble, I might as well get it completely right.

I could not pick out my favorite verse, but here are the ones I loved the most – or at least today I did:

1:21 -  “For me to live is Christ and to die is gain”.

3:7-8 – “But whatever gain I had, I counted as loss for the sake of Christ. Indeed I count everything as loss for the surpassing worth of knowing Christ Jesus, my Lord. For his sake I have suffered the loss of all things and count them as rubbish in order that I may gain Christ.”

4- 6 – “Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God”.

4:19 – “And my God will supply your every need of yours according to his riches in glory in Christ Jesus.”

By the way, I used the ESV (English Standard Version), which I am really enjoying. Share you favorite verses) with me!

Partnering to Remember

Drum Roll, Please!

The good news! My refrigerator still works. Tonight I went grocery shopping and filled it with food. My husband looked at it tonight and said: “I am so glad to have my life back. I felt like a caveman.” I nearly died laughing. I swear he suffered more than I did and I had to try juggle daily shopping and cooking with no left-overs. I especially missed milk and yoghurt (sorry to gross out my lactose intolerant friends).
After prayer meeting, we went to the grocery store tonight. I don’t usually shop after 10PM, for a lot of reasons. Not the least of which is the danger factor of being out late in Rio, plus me being older than dirt and falling apart after 10PM. Tonight, I just felt like it. And what a great idea. It was like empty and NO lines. Do you know how rare it is to grocery shop here in Rio without playing bumper carts and standing in line 30-40 minutes? That’s the basic reason why I mostly shop at the tiny corner store or the fruit market. Which means I can’t get my organic tea and coffee as well as Peter Pan Peanut Butter and the like. But tonight I spent R$400 and got all that stuff I needed and wanted, like organic chicken and paper towels and three ply toilet paper, that for some strange reason the fruit market doesn’t carry. Ha!
So here it is nearly midnight and I’m not quite sleepy enough to hit the sack, besides which I am having a hard time putting down my second Fannie Flagg novel this month. Right now it is “Welcome to the World, Baby Girl”. Earlier it was “Standing in the Rainbow”. Love these books, although they have left me sleep deprived.
But as for the drum roll, that will actually have to happen tomorrow. Promises to be busy, as I prepare to preach tomorrow night for the 75 anniversary of the Woman’s Missionary Union of a neighboring church (Itacuruça). But the big news is, God willing, I should finish my memorization of the book of Philippians. Do you think I will? Do I deserve a big drum roll if I do?

Some like it hot, some like it cold.

I like it cold. I like most things cold, but most especially my refrigerator. And it does seem to be getting cold. Yes, the repairman came as promised. He took a look and made a diagnosis and promised to return later in the day to do the fixing.

When 4PM rolled around and he hadn’t come, I figured that was all she wrote. But he did appear around 4:30 and went straight to work with a  hair dryer, after taking the freezer apart. He seems to think the problem is the sensor didn’t work and so the air flow was blocked so the freezer got colder and colder and the bottom, the refrigerator got hotter and hotter. He never even opened the refrigerator when he started the repair.

He worked a long time heating and heating the elements, and then pouring on two pans of hot water. I had a very wet and dirty floor. But after about an hour of heating and drying and the like, he was suddenly done, handing me a six month guarantee, as well as a bill of R$180, much less than a tenth of what we would have spent to buy a new refrigerator. YEAH!

By the way the repairman, was a really nice guy, and as it turns out, a member of a neighboring Baptist church. We have lots of friends in common and we had a nice talk about churches and people we know. How lovely it was to be able to relax and trust this stranger who was in my home.

We are trying to leave the doors shut and not use either part much until the temperatures gets low enough (about 1-3 degrees /34 or so degrees). I hope this resolves the problem and I can grocery shop. It will be nice to have yogurt again, as well as being able to save left-overs in the fridge, not freeze them. I have all this little packages of bits and pieces in the freezer right now. At least everything is all nice and clean and organized now. That’s good news. So perhaps my refrigerator saga is now ended. To everyone’s relief, mostly mine. It’ll be cold comfort to all of us having a working refrigerator. (Sorry, I couldn’t resist!)

Hot Refrigerator

I never knew cleaning a refrigerator could be such hot, tiring work. I’ll explain.  Thursday afternoon of last week, I noticed things weren’t very cold in the refrigerator. But my refrigerator has never been all that cold. It’s been a problem since it was delivered less than 5 years ago. In fact it’s the second edition, since the first one broke the second day I used it. At least five different repairs were made on it, but it never worked more than 24 hours at a time, so they sent a new model. It worked.

It was a soap opera getting it delivered. It didn’t fit in the elevator and the delivery men refused to take the doors off without technical support. We set that up for some days later, but of course they brought the refrigerator again and no tech. On the 3rd try they managed to get it delivered, although it was about a 3 hour operation.

I’ve never been shot in the arm with it, even though it’s supposed to be the best brand. Everything is plastic and breaks upon the slightest pressure. In addition, it never really cools that well. Although I will admit the freezer part does freeze well and quickly.  It is a frost free model, but not always completely frost free, as I have to clean around the door every day and there are always icicles. Which means, probably that the rubber gaskets don’t work properly. Odd that this began when it was only about a year old, but after my experience with the repairmen, I preferred to let it go.

Consequently, when things weren’t so cool on Thursday, I knew in my heart of hearts the refrigerator had died, but I reset the thermostat and tried to keep it shut, hoping the next morning it would have cooled down. No such luck. But Friday I was seriously involved in finishing my sermon for the weekend and did not want to deal with this. João and I talked and thought since we hated the fridge anyway, we would buy a new one.

We were busy over the weekend, so we ate out and since the freezer still worked, at least I had my ice, so I wasn’t bent out of shape.

Today, Monday, we looked at prices and I was seriously shocked to see that it would be around R$2,000 or more to replace the fridge. We both thought that was a heap of money to spend, when it wasn’t in the budget. Back to square one… so we scheduled a repairman for tomorrow. Hopefully, it is fixable, and it will actually be fixed properly.

Consequent to the imminent repair (hopefully??), I took apart everything, removing all the shelves and scrubbed the refrigerator. I did the same on the freezer and then noticed (as it was full) that the frost free component is not working. In just these past few days there was a thick layer of frost on the walls and floors. So add that to the list of problems, although it may be related to the fridge not working. At any rate it took me about 2 1/2 hours to take it apart and scrub it down. To my immense shame, I was shocked at how dirty it was. It’s not like I don’t wash down the shelves very regularly, but the runners and the like were just plain icky.

On the other hand as hot and sweaty and tired as I got (and it was complicated to “unlock” the many shelves and drawers – I had to get out the manual to figure out how), I have a feeling this will never make it into my regular house cleaning duties. At least now I know how to remove everything. I think I miss the old grates instead of these solid plastic shelves. They were easier to work with and even easier to clean. I really miss appliances that lasted 20 or 30 years and weren’t made of fragile plastic. I will mourn my washing machine (I bought 3d hand) that is all stainless steel inside, when it passes. It must be at least 15 years old or older and other than being ugly and getting rusty, works very well. I have really come to hate plastic more and more – in everything – from water bottles, to food storage, to appliances.

I hate that stuff is made with planned obsolescence. That is so wasteful. One of the reasons that weighted my decision in favor of trying to repair and not discard is the whole issue of pollution and waste. It’s easier to just junk stuff, but is it better to do so?

Wish me luck and I’ll let you know what happens. I have a feeling this is going to be a very long and drawn out drama. I am not expecting to see any results tomorrow. If the repairman happens to come as promised, I doubt he’ll have parts, if he figures out what’s wrong… and even then I can’t be sure it will actually work after he fixes it. I know I’m being pessimistic, but I don’t exactly have a good track record with repairs. The toilet off of the kitchen has now been repaired 4 times in the past year, but doesn’t work. And yes with more than one plumber. Does anyone know what they are doing in the field of repairs? I wonder how long I can keep smiling and living without a refrigerator? 

Working Hard

I had the privilege and honor to preach in my church this morning because my husband was preaching elsewhere. I am humbled that he trusted me with his pulpit. Those are big shoes to fill.

I used the same text and basic message of yesterday, although shortened and modified for the general congregation and not just pastor’s wives.

I am tired, this afternoon, although I know I will be more so this evening, since I am still a little keyed up.

I find both preparation and preaching immensely difficult and arduous work. Pleasurable, as well. I love digging and digging and studying God’s word and coming to a deep understanding. That to me, is the most fun. However, even harder than understanding is finding a way of expressing, explaining that understanding in a form that is engaging (I did NOT say entertaining). I have the added task of doing that in a second language.

I do not know how pastors do it every week. Especially here in Brazil with two or more sermons every Sunday. I studied the passage I used this morning during weeks and weeks and worked about 10-12 hours a day during the entire week in preparation.

Still, when I stand in the pulpit I tremble. Not literally, because I am not afraid of public speaking. I tremble with the weight of the responsibility. When I begin to speak, it is almost like I step outside myself, and into the text.

Then after that intense experience, I must step down and stand in the receiving line during 30 minutes.

So I ask, is preaching hard work or not? I think so! Be sure to thank your pastor for his hard work.

Pastor’s Wives

Here I am at the Pastor’s Wives meeting this morning. Hey no comments on the hair, as it was definitely a bad hair day. It was hot and humid and on such days my hair neither curls or straightens properly. Just kind of lays there, between me trying to brush it off my face so the sweat doesn’t drip into my eyes. Other than bad hair (which is the rule, not the exception more often than not here in Rio), I had a great day.

Although the meeting was on the other side of town, it only took about 25 minutes to get there. What a blessing. during the week, that same trip would have lasted about 1-2hours.

Although this was the semi-annual meeting for all the Baptist pastor’s wives of our city, with almost 400 churches, we had a very small attendance. That is par for the course. Here in this city everything is complicated to get to. In addition everyone has a million things happening. And there is no publicity or communication system set up. No pastor’s wife I spoke to knew about the meeting! I am not sure hope people know the meeting exist at all. Or maybe there hasn’t been much credibility given to the group. But those who came were very interested and the meeting was really good and well done.  Maybe like me, they mostly can’t face the thought of one more meeting.

The pastor’s wife to the left  spoke on forgiveness and was a definite WOW! I was inspired and impressed. She used Joseph, but in a new, creative and fresh way, sharing things I had never thought about. I was totally captivated and she spoke for an hour. Those who know my five minute attention span will be impressed. I can’t wait to have her speak to our group of women. It is so exciting to hear from such a woman of God.

I did the Bible study about hallowing God, making Christ holy and thus learning to live without fear, and with hope. If they liked it or not, I have no idea. They politely listened and laughed in the right places. But as hard as it is for me to say this, my task isn’t to make them like me or my message, but to hear God speaking to them. I am amazed sometimes to have people share what they learned from my message and it is not at all what I was really saying. But it’s kind of neat how God can translate our fumbling efforts to translate his message.

Although it was an all day meeting, I only stayed for the morning, leaving around 1PM, as it was the International Missions Lunch at our church, so I didn’t want to miss that. I hate to be a prima donna and go to meetings, do my thing and then leave before it’s over, but I really needed to do that today. After lunch at church, João socialized, but I had to go to his office and crash. He has a mattress and I threw in on the floor and closed my eyes and slept. It is exhausting for me to preach.

We got home around 4:30 or so and I’ve been finishing my Sunday School lesson tomorrow. I love this lesson about the JOY OF THE LORD IS MY STRENGTH.  My printer gave out on my – or at least the new cartridge I put in is not working, so I’ll have to get to church early to copy my lesson for the students. Also I’ll have to print out my sermon.

I will be preaching the same sermon at our church that I used this morning – with some modifications. I had an hour this morning (although I only used 40 min.), and at our church I like to keep it to 25 minutes or less. I will need to get to bed early, as tomorrow will be a long day. But no complaints from me. I love preaching and teaching and am grateful for every opportunity I have to exercise God’s gifts.

Just a Quick Note

Today will have to be a quick note, as I don’t have time or the brain power to contemplate deep thoughts… or at least to spend them on my blog. I am trying to finish my message for tomorrow. All I need to do now is write my conclusion, have João correct my Portuguese (alas, still necessary after ALL these years) and then refine the whole message. Thanks to a sermon by John Piper I was able get a handle on the structure and organize it in a way that makes sense. I am not yet totally excited by the message, but I think I will be when I finish it.

Last night, as I took a break from my struggles (and it must have worked, because my illumination came right afterwards), I made some granola for my husband. That’s no big deal, as I do that regularly as he likes to eat that every night before going to bed. This time, however, I decided to try it out in the slow cooker since I read that this was much easier than a conventional oven. Using my slow cooker… what else is new, eh?

In reading about the process I was somewhat relieved to see how many other people have also burned up whole pans of granola in the oven. My oven is about as consistent as I am, so I never know if it’s going to be warm or super hot. That is a death knell to ever so sensitive granola. So even with my timer going off every 10 minutes (time to turn, so you won’t burn) I scorched a few recipes.. without mentioning the times I’ve just gone off for an hour or so (into my air conditioning) and forgotten the batch.

I made my usual recipe (which means I dumped whatever grains and nuts I had around the house, plus some oil and honey to moisten, with some spices I like). You’ll notice I had the lid vented. That was a suggestion that’s important, so you don’t end up with oatmeal, since the cooker steams food. I am happy to report that the cooker was much less hands on than the oven. Since I started the recipe late in the evening (around 7PM), I didn’t put it on slow, but on high. In about 3 hours it was ready. I think I stirred it twice. I knew to stir because I began to smell the wonderful delicious smell of granola roasting. The recipe book said that was a clue you should stir. They were right, as it was browning nicely on the bottom. You can see it made a goodly portion and browned nicely, although I almost let it get too done. That’s why I would make it on low heat the next time.

I was pleased with the result, although for me the granola wasn’t sweet enough, with just 1/4 c. of honey to 5 c. of oats and quinoa, but definitely crunchy and healthy, with almonds and flax seed. It was pretty good with some plain yoghurt. Very “mother-earth”.

Slow Down!

I don’t know if you are aware of the “Slow” movement, that encourages us to QUIT multi-tasking, lay off fast food, drive more slowly and learn how to live unrushed. I think that’s part of the process I’ve been undergoing over the last few years. It’s not easy for me to transform from a doer to a “be-er”.  And I still have my moments of guilt when I am not busy about “doing” things and I have nothing to “cross off” on my “list” of accomplishments for the day.

I am not sure when I began moving more slowly in my life, but I suspect it happened in Canada when I couldn’t take a job because of my visa. That didn’t mean I wasn’t busy, but still less so than I was before. It’s easy to fill up your life with activities.  Of course, I don’t think I was a hyperactive child – I did seem to sleep anywhere the urge hit to rest.

Strange as it may sound, some of things I have changed in slower living, involve MORE work. Living slow is NOT about being lazy. For instance, we eat out much less, and even the food I make is fresh and homemade. No more mixes, instant, frozen or canned food. I tend to grocery shop or market almost daily so as to have fresh fruits, vegetables, bread and meat. That is time consuming! I try to walk instead of taking the car. I am not in a rush to get meals on the table, or finish my shopping.  I have begun to realize that “time-savers” are mostly “money-spenders” and the more I think I need to save time (and where DOES that saved time go anyway?), the more hurried and stressed I am. At the end of the day, does it really matter if I am late getting somewhere, if I have to be stressed, endanger my life and that of others, and be all grumpy with people to be on time?

In addition, I am trying valiantly to learn to do one thing at time and not rush off before finishing what I started. When I have laundry started, lunch cooking, am writing on my blog, the TV is going and I am washing dishes, I am not doing anything well. I think all that multitasking is the reason I have piles of stuff everywhere, because I don’t finish things. So I am trying to start my day by organizing my bedroom, making my breakfast and then sitting down with my Bible. That’s not an easy discipline for me. I tend to have lots of stuff going on at once. A site called FlyLady (Finally Love Yourself), has given me some good advice about doing one thing at a time.  I  love her advice to leave my kitchen sink clean, dry and shiny all the time. (I cannot expect everyone else to cooperate with this philosophy in my house, but most of the time, I have this small satisfaction of knowing that my kitchen is organized.)  She gives the simple suggestion of cleaning one room, one area before moving on to the next.  Do it slowly.

I no longer try to do tons of stuff in one day. Even when I am on vacation, I try to do it slowly. I am in no hurry to visit every museum and see every tourist site in the book. I am happy to take in the view and just be quiet.  To learn to be quiet, is a new art form. I really need to take lessons from Mia. I think she sleeps more than the 20 hours of most cats.  I think I am much happier for not living “rushed”. When they measured my blood pressure the other day it was 110/60. Not bad for someone my age (and weight).  I do not doubt that being rushed and stressed about it takes a heavy toll. It goes hand in hand with being anxious. I may do less things, I may have less things, but I have no doubt my life is richer and happier and deeper for slowing down. So, if I may be so bold as to suggest something… take a deep breath, let it out slowly and then just have a sit. Think about what you need to do slowly. Maybe you need to do nothing… slowly!

Struggling

Sometimes things just don’t come together like you wish they would. For instance, I am trying a new method of watercolor, that I mentioned the other day. It is slow and I can’t say I’m enchanted with it, but I am committed.  I am going to try to finish the picture, but I think the next time, I’ll be moving back to the quicker and more accurate, color-wise anyway, method of mixing my colors on my palette.  At any rate, you can see today’s progress. Sometimes I feel like the more I work, the worse the painting gets. I’m struggling to get it right. That’s part of the learning process.

Where I am really struggling, however, is on a message I am writing for Saturday morning. I was given the text to work with, and usually I find that a greater challenge as it doesn’t give me room for change. Normally, if the text just doesn’t gel into a message, then I move on to another one. I have been struggling with 1 Peter 3:15 for months now. And although it’s Wednesday I don’t feel any closer to opening up this text then I was in January! I have pages of research. I even have a title (Living without fear through fear). Working with contradictions/paradoxes is hard for me, and my whole concept in this text is such a paradox. The idea is that by fearing God, we can learn to live without fear. Ah ha! Now you understand my dilemma.  So I read and pray and meditate.

I have just realized part of my problem is fear. Ironic, huh? I recognized that I want to offer a message that will be life-impacting, interesting and well accepted. I am afraid of what people will think of me, if it’s not “meaningful enough”. So I have prayed over that and am now struggling to simply open up God’s Word for the other pastor’s wives on Saturday. I now plan to modify the message somewhat and use it to preach at our church Sunday morning since my husband will be preaching at another church. It’s always a BIG responsibility to me to be faithful in the interpretation of God’s message for His people. So I confess, right now I am struggling. Pray with me that I will be humble to listen and to translate what I am learning in my studies.

Books I've Been Reading

Every now and then I do like to share books I've been reading, because I do like to be able let you know about books I think are worthwhile. I will tell you up front I am usually reading what I call "junk food" books that aren't particularly edifying, but I can read before I drop off to sleep or while I am working out at the gym. Those are usually mysteries or books about cats. It's hard to find light fiction that isn't badly written, or has gushy sentimental romance, or happily ever after Christian unrealistic books, but I do run across them. I am really enjoying a fun little book of short chronicles (there are 50 of them) called "A Cup of Comfort for Cat Lovers". I told you yesterday I am a crazy cat lady and this book confirms that. But it is really delightful, if you like cats. Even though they are very short stories, I can hardly quit reading, saying to myself, just one more. Some of them make me all sniffly, I will tell you up front. And they are best read with a sweet cat purring away on your lap.

Also on the light reading front, but a lot more edifying is the inspirational book about Nick Vujicic. It's called "Life Without Limits: Inspiration for a Ridiculously Good Life". Most people have seen the "viral" video on You Tube about Nick. He was born with no legs or arms. When I saw the video, I thought to myself, this guy HAS to be a Christian. I got the book and discovered that he is a vibrant Christan. The book is not exactly a biography and that kind of disappointed me. There is not much narrative and it is what it says, inspirational and that's all. At first I kept underlining things and putting them on Facebook. I was very inspired, I confess, but somewhat underwhelmed with its literary merits. That's okay, I suppose as I wasn't looking for a work of literature. This is a sample of a quote I liked: "We can choose to dwell on disappointments and shortcomings. We can choose to be bitter, angry, or sad. Or when faced with hard times and hurtful people, we can choose to learn from the experience and move forward, taking responsibility for our own happiness".


Kindle frequently offers freebies and I usually order them if they sound at all interesting. If they aren't all that good, then I just delete them. I am still reading, but am very favorably impressed by one called "Calm My Anxious Heart". I had no idea what the book is about, but it's really just up my alley. She talks about being negative (I am a champion complainer) and trusting God (which I think is the biggest issue most Christians face) and letting go of anxiety. Learning to be content is where I am these days with my Bible memorization of Philippians. I think the author is right in her thesis that this is particular problem we women deal with. Of course there are anxious men, but on a whole we of the female persuasion are more anxious. I'm still working on the whys of that. Cultural? Spiritual? Hormonal? Guess it doesn't matter why, but it does matter how it is dealt with. So far the author has been "right on" theologically.  A sample quote: "Paul’s life was anything but perfect and controlled; yet he said, “I have learned to be content in whatever circumstances I am.” Incredible! In other words, contentment can be learned. This means you and I can learn to be content."  I am happy to report that I really am learning. I have my setbacks, but on the whole I am doing much better, God be praised.


Now on to a harder book! Most of you won't want to read this, but if you work with children or are a parent, read this book. It is of great integrity and treats the spiritual formation in an academic and spiritual way, such as I have never read all in one book. It is called "Joining Children on the Spiritual Journey" and I read the book to help me to prepare for a leadership training event about children's spiritual development.  I was impressed with Stonehouse's pedagogical preparation and her theological position. She is a professor of Christian Education at Asbury Theological Seminary and I wish I could have studied with her. I find, unfortunately, that so many approach Christian Education with their minds bent on what they already think, without seriously considering how children learn and think. She doesn't make that mistake. She combines Erickson, Kohlberg, Piaget and Fowler in the areas of psychosocial, moral, cognitive and religious development to present a coherent approach to teaching children about God. She uses lots of stories to illustrate her book.  It is not hard to read and I felt so much more informed and better prepared to teach teachers to teach after reading the book. 


Ok, you've probably had it with my reading choices for this past month, but let me share just one more. This is another light read. Got to keep this balanced, right? It's called: "Tremolo: Cry of the Loon" and is a work of fiction. It's what they call a "Coming of Age" book. In another words, the main character is a kid who is 12 years old and is a child who is just beginning to see things more as a teen-ager then a child. The neat thing is that it's a boy (it's almost always a girl in this genre) and he is 12 years old in 1964. Exactly my age. (oops, now you know how old I am). So all the songs and movies and TV shows and clothes and even the candies at the movies are the same as mine.  Who remembers Chad and Jeremy? I didn't until he mentioned them. Miraculously this is a novel set in the north, so I relate to that. To top it off, it's a mystery. It's a fun, quick read and actually pretty well written. I didn't even get impatient and flip to the end to see how it turned out before finishing the book. In fact, I was a little disappointed with the ending, in that I felt like the author kind of got in a rush and the final part wasn't as engaging at the rest of the book, but that's just my thought on the subject. 


I love to read. Hope you didn't mind reading about my reading. 

Mia and me

I do know my grammar, but the title above has more alliteration (see I do know big words). HA! I guess everyone knows I am a “cat lady”.  While I may not have coffee mugs with cats on them. I do have cat necklaces and pins and earrings. I have cat t-shirts. And I specialize in cat paintings. In addition, I love writing and talking about my kitty, so guess I am the weird cat lady.

After Mia’s long drawn out treatment for corneal ulcers last year, she has never quite been the same. I am not sure if it was the pain, or the constant vet visits, but from an outgoing friendly cat, she has become nervous, skittish and retiring. Eventually she has come to respond to me and sit with me, but she does not appear when company comes and no longer openly offers herself for loving. At the least little noise or sudden movement she skitters off to hide. That has made me sad to see that transformation.

At the same time, she continues to play with her favorite green ball, runs around a lot when chased and will even play with the laser light some. She is very active and when she desires extremely affectionate. She has taken to laying on my stomach when I read in bead and like to knead me. All my everyday clothes and nightgowns have small “laser-like” cuts in them from her claws. I had to give up on the silicone claw covers, as her nails do not shed properly and they ended up growing into the pads. We had quite and operation a couple of times, cutting through the silicone nails to get them off and now she is traumatized about having her nails clipped. I do them once in a while when I feel particularly strong willed. Afterwards, I get the silent treatment for a long time. Right now she isn’t too bad about scratching the furniture. I guess she figures she has ruined both couches and there is not much more fun to be had. I don’t wish to buy new furniture, so guess I will have to spring for recovering the couch, preferably in canvas!

She has become camera shy for some reason, and we can never get a cute shot of her. She’s a fairly obedient cat, as cat’s go, but when the camera comes out, she looks everywhere except at the lens, so I have no good photos of her. In addition, her black fur seems to fool the focus of the camera and most of the shots are blurry. Because I am dreaming of one day being able to offer paintings of cats to owners, I also am thinking of what kind of good camera I could use to take really good head shots of cats. Has to be a camera with really quick shutter action! I got an e-mail about a photographer that does feline portraits at your home. I was drooling with her work and dreaming of her coming her and doing Mia, but then I saw the price. I am sure it is worth the $500 or so, but I just can’t afford that.

Since Mia has Irritable Bowel Syndrome, I have to be really careful with her food. Even so, it’s a constant challenge to keep her litter box clean and also other places as she has “accidents” if she is particularly upset. I tried an experiment with her food late last year, based on my research. Not a good idea. Things went from bad to worse, to positively awful. Let’s just say, Mia will never be eating wet cat food again. And I’ll add, that despite everyone’s raves, cooked pumpkin does nothing to help her digestion. I have found a dry food for cats for cats with her problem and she does pretty well with that, in addition to taking probiotics every morning. She loves her probiotics (I call it yogurt for cats), but will only take it in the morning and on the white table on the veranda. Every day she sniffs it like she has never ever seen the stuff in her whole life. She suspiciously tastes it and then proceeds to try to get her tongue into the tube feeder to get more than her daily dosage. If, however, I forget in the morning and offer it later in the day, it turns into poison. Go figure. I told you she was temperamental.

Despite me being the one who takes her to the vet, gives her meds and cuts her nails and grooms her (although that’s her favorite activity of the day), she has become MY cat. She sits on the white drawing table while I work on the computer. She sits on the table on the veranda when I read the Bible, she lays on my lap when I read, and naps with me when I rest on the bed. She just doesn’t like to be held in my (or anyone else’s) arms. See how she is trying to escape?  But she is my baby and gives me great joy. If you come and visit us, and are very quiet and pretend you don’t care for her, and stay a few days, she may even come out and beg for you to love on her – if you are worthy of such an honor. And you will enjoy it her purrs and her velvety fur. She’s my Mia.

It’s All About Me

I was reading one of the blogs I enjoy, The Preacher’s Wife, and she was talking about her Married to the Ministry Blog Role. I was thinking about “enrolling”, meaning asking to put my blog on her list of blogs of minister’s wives. Then I got to thinking… my blog isn’t at all about being a pastor’s wife. It’s all about me, Peggy. Hence, its title: Peggy’s Penlines. It’s about all the trivial stuff in my life, like how my cactus is growing, using my slow cooker, painting watercolors and the like. It’s not about any role in life, but about what I do.

I thought about starting a different blog, in Portuguese, called “Married to the Minister”, about being a pastor’s wife, and even created a template, but just never got it up and running. In part, that’s because of having to have someone to correct my Portuguese before publishing anything, and that is just too inconvenient for me.

I love being married to João. I love that he is a minister. I love being the wife of the pastor of our church. Other than that, to me there’s just not a lot more to say about it. I mean I care for my husband, as part of my ministry. I work in my church, however, because I am a Christian and I would be doing those things anyway. I don’t think I carry any special aura because I am the pastor’s wife. Here in Brazil, among the Baptists, they invented a special day to honor pastor’s wives. I appreciate the fact that people want to bless their pastor’s wife, but I feel tremendously awkward on this day and was glad it got bypassed this year. Why should I be honored because I am doing what God called me to do? What special merit do I deserve because I am married to the pastor of the church?  (Well maybe a  little merit because I was smart enough to marry João .)  I do like it when people thank me for something I’ve done for them, or when I have ministered to them in some specific way. I guess I’m just saying that I don’t think it’s that big a deal having a title. And by no means do I mean to imply those who love the pastor’s wife Sunday, or who have a blog about being or pastor’s wife, or anything of the like are wrong. I am just talking about me. Like I said, it’s all about me.

I just want to keep on being me and writing about my usual dumb old stuff. Of course, maybe I’m pretentious thinking anyone is interesting in reading about how I groom my cat Mia (that’s up for a blog post one of these days, since I haven’t written about her for a long time).  I’ll just keep plugging along with my 30 or so loyal readers and hope they don’t lose interest along the way. By the way, I am liking the discipline of writing every day, although I really am not sure how long I can keep this up.

Growing Up and Out

Look carefully and these two pictures of the same cactus. There is a difference of time of about 15 months. Did you notice the difference? Hard to believe it could have grown so much, isn’t it? It’s taller than I am now. See at the left it was slightly taller than our railings, and now, well it’s way above them.  Once I moved it in the sun where it gets late afternoon sunlight and also gets rain as well, and put other plants beneath it, it just went wild.  Last night we cut off one of it’s arms to give to Elly. (By the way, we had a great supper together with dinner made in the slow clooker). That’s how we got our start as well. Someone hacked off an arm and João brought it home and we stuck it in the dirt. I can’t believe it’s grown like this. I’ve even lost count on how many arms it has now. Just recently it put out about 5 new arms just on the top, main branch. The orchid, poinsettia and mint and are also growing like crazy around it.

The funny thing is that the poinsettia was from Christmas and had lost all its leaves, but it still had green stems, so I stuck it outside, cutting back the stalks low and behold it has taken off growing. So I hope to place it in a black garbage bag long about September so it will bloom for Christmas.

The other thing that’s growing in our ginger. We had some ginger root (we always have ginger, for its medicinal effects are wondrous for many things) that got sprouts. Since it’s not all that cheap, I hated to throw it out, so we planted them in a pot of old dirt. And what do you know? Here we are a month later with ginger. I will have to study up to see how long it has to grow before we can harvest it.  I really need to be more intentional about doing plants and flowers. I get so excited about anything that grows.  Maybe, just maybe when we retire in about 10 more years or so, we can have a small house with a small garden. Wouldn’t that be grand?

Learning in another language

Nope, it’s not what you think. Although I am fully aware of the fact that learning another language is very good for your brain and it can ward off senility, I have all I can do to increase my brain capacity right now. I read, I do word games (I am seriously addicted to a word game on Kindle), I memorize the Bible, I draw and paint. I would, I confess, like to have a piano and take piano lessons, which I hear is also great for your brain power. I don’t see that happening any time soon, as a piano is not exactly a line item in my budget.
What I’m actually referring to in the title, is my memorization of the Bible in another translation. In my childhood it was all King James, the only version we used or really knew about. The language is beautiful. Still, we must confess, it is not always as clear as it could be, nor does it use the best manuscripts available.  Despite the emotional ties I have to the KJV, it just doesn’t communicate that well to me.
For many years now I have used the NIV (New International Version) and I have read the Bible many times using it, very satisfied with it’s language and clarity. A couple of years ago, however, the ESV (English Standard Version) came out and I was anxious to acquire a copy, which I was able to do.  At first I wasn’t shot in the arm with it, I think because I was so used to the NIV by that time. As I began to use the translation more and more, I began to like it more and more. The Study Bible is really excellent. It is a very conservative, literal translation that preserves a very literary style.
I am using the ESV to read the Bible through this year (following the McCheyne plan - http://www.bibleplan.org/mcheyne.htm) and also for my memorization of Philippians.  Thus, the second language. What I mean is that I heard the KJV so long and learned so many verses from it, that it’s language seems embedded in my mind.  Today, as I was working on Philippians 4:6 I could only think of these words: “Be careful for nothing; but in every thing by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known unto God”.  So I had to redouble my efforts to learn the verse in a “second” language: “Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God.”
I always kinda stop here to meditate on the fact that worry, anxiousness IS a sin. And that Paul gives us the strategy to deal with it. If we get worried or anxious, we stop and make that known to God. Oh and we give thanks as well. Not so hard, right? Huh! I am trying to learn NOT to be anxious in anything and putting this verse in its context only helps! I’ve always loved this little poem:

OVERHEARD IN AN ORCHARD

Said the robin to the sparrow,
“I should really like to know,
Why these anxious human beings
Rush about and worry so.”

Said the sparrow to the robin,
“Friend I think that it must be,
That they have no Heavenly Father,
Such as cares for you and me.”

–Elizabeth Chaney - 1859

Big Girl Toy

I know all those jokes about how men love their cars, but I don’t think that’s entirely fair, as what woman doesn’t love seeing that bright and shiny brand new car, and sitting in the nice plush seats and smelling that new car smell? Hey, we are all human, right?

Yesterday, the long awaited new car arrived! Let me explain, that it is not our car. The church purchases the car for the pastor’s use,  but it belongs to the church. One of the church treasurer’s oversaw the choice and purchase of the car. He was as excited about it, as if it were his own, which I thought was neat. They followed a path of finding a solid, safe car that offered some comfort and was not over budget. They had the same budget as our last car, but added to that was the selling price of the former car, which is now 5 years old.  My two cents worth was that I absolutely did not want a black car. Too hot! I did not participate in the choosing process, except for one large detail.

They were looking at the Honda Fit and seriously considering it, until I travelled with someone in such a car. I absolutely hated it. It was cramped, uncomfortable, hot, noisy, and felt like a tin can on wheels. I had a terrible opinion and told them I preferred to keep our old car rather than spend so much money on a subcompact.  Since a Honda is an import here, and the taxes are more expensive, they eliminated that.  I was rooting for a Nissan Sentra, but was very pleasantly surprised when they chose a Chevrolet Vectra, a very nice Sedan, by Brazilian standards could even be considered a luxurious car.

To me it is very luxurious and I was shocked by the fact they were able to buy the car. So when we went to pick it up yesterday (and trust me I wasn’t going to stay home and miss my chance to see the new toy), I went along.

They had to give us lessons on how everything worked and I was glad for that, as it is very different from anything we have had before. I had to get a shot of the engine, so clean and fancy (here in Brazil we call a new car a “Zero Kilometer”, but in fact the car did have 3 whole kilometers on it).  Have you ever seen a battery all swathed in felt? What a hoot. I had never seen an engine organized in that way before and was glad they showed it, as I would never have found the dipstick otherwise.

It has an onboard computer and you practically need an engineering degree to figure out how to work the air conditioning and radio. And last night as it was raining and the car fogged up, we never did figure out how to defrost the car. The windshield wipers have sensors and turn on automatically which was hysterical, since at times they would crazily go fast and then they would sort of shut down, etc. Made me nervous.

João loves the comfort and quietness of the ride. I am happy to report the rider’s side of the car is also very comfortable. There are all kind of small amenities we are not used to… which I know are no big deal to you North Americans, but we are having so much playing with – like a lighted mirror on the sun visor, cup holders that pull out, arm rests, cooled glove box to put food in, etc., etc.

So we have our new, expensive toy. Today João has to go out and get a license plate for it.  But other than that, it is ready to go. I am very grateful to the church for providing this for us. Thankful to God for a safe means of transportation. And praying that it will not tempt me to materialism or pride. Mostly I am just enjoying it. That’s okay, isn’t it, as long as I don’t “worship” it, right?

Transformed.Com

Ah, this time last year I was working like a crazy fool to finishing writing a Vacation Bible School Program. In January it was published, but I didn’t get a copy of the book until yesterday. Better late than never. Fortunately I had seen the book before, since a friend had bought a copy and showed it to me, so the emotion was slightly less. Still to see what you have labored over for so long, actually in print is exciting. It’s always a disappointment when some things are changed and the art is not just exactly what you had envisioned, but then I have to remember, I have really high standards and I saw the stuff in my head, they didn’t.  I am pleased that it is a different kind of topic, using computers and robots and the like to transmit the message of how we are being transformed. I wish I could see some of the churches doing the activities.  I mean I write the stuff all in my room alone and then I wonder if anyone can actually use the stuff in a practical way. I know my ideas are not always easy or clear, so this time I really tried to scale back to make things easier. I wonder if I’ll ever know if I succeeded? I wish there was some way of having feedback. I like writing the VBS, and I offered to do it for the Women’s Missionary Union. I wonder if I’ll get another chance to do one? At least not for a couple of years, since they didn’t ask me to do one for 2012 or 2013.  I have many writing projects on the blocks because I don’t have anyone to publish them. I have a devotional book for women on Proverbs I’ve started; a book of Bible studies on the women of the Bible written; a book of devotionals on cats written for children (almost finished), but without a deadline or publisher, I definitely am unmotivated. What to do?

Now on to the slower cooker. Yesterday I made an apple flavored 4 grain cereal. It has quinoa, barley, steel cut oats and wheat berries. OK, quick question… what are wheat berries?  I mean to find them here in Brazil I had to know the answer to that. I actually had no idea.  In case you are like me, they are nothing special, just the whole, uncracked wheat kernel. They look like TVP (texturized vegetable protein). So I cooked all these whole grains together with honey, apples and cinnamon. Smelled pretty good. I made it last night so I could keep an eye on it, so just heated it this morning. I added a little butter as I reheated this morning and you know it was actually good, despite João asking me if I was eating cat vomit. Are you going to tell me all this whole grain goodness looks like vomit? Trust me, that does not increase one’s appetite.

Everyone tells me that oats fill them up, but me I’m hungry about 5 minutes later, if not starving. Quinoa, however does the trick and carries me through the morning quite well. I’ll let you know if this whole grain cereal does the trick.  I hope so. I have nothing to fix for lunch.

I hope to work up courage to go out walking. My back or hip (who knows which) is on the rampage and I feel like someone is poking hot fire into my left hip/back as I sit, stand and  walk. Lying down doesn’t hurt if I do it just right. I’ve tried ice and I’ve tried heat, but I finally gave up and took Advil. Hope that helps. I don’t do pain! Currently we are without a car, since ours was sold and so far no sign of the new car. I’ll keep you posted!

To Paint the Light Fantastic

During Carnaval, I stayed home and quietly engaged in my own thing, that included lots of art work. The problem (or solution?) with art is that you use the side of your brain that knocks out all notion of time or space. Consequently, during the five days of carnaval, I spent a lot of time painting. And doing art work is not quick work, so I was able to finish a few things, but at least I could put on my favorite music and relax. My art teacher says the acrylic paintings I did are very far removed from anything I have done before and she didn’t think I painted them. Funny, I think they look like me. I had a couple of framed canvasses (previously painted, but not by me)and I covered them with white gesso, and then just painted over them. The problem was they are tiny pictures (about 4 inches square), so they required a lot of precision. The calico cat was rather a disaster (I was working from a art text book and following the step by step). I got so frustrated I threw away the book and did my own thing, and it turned out just ok, but the way I was going in the instructions, it was awful. The Jack Russell terrier came out much better and I was much happier with the result, but then it was a better photograph to work with! I had a resolution in 2009, to try to determine what kind of media I want to specialize in,but I just didn’t managed to do so. I realized while doing these paintings, that I had really decided that I don’t care all that much for acrylic painting, mostly because of the mess and the smell. I may do a few more, but I won’t be doing many of them. I just don’t feel in control of this process and don’t find that much enjoyment from it. By the way, these two paintings are from the book “Painter's Quick Reference - Cats  Dogs”
I recently started reading and studying a book on watercolor, called “Paint Watercolors that Dance with Light” and my teacher and fellow classmates were just as enchanted as I am. Her style and suggestions are different than anything I’ve seen. I am finding it a huge challenge to try her style.  Instead of mixing the paints on the pallet to match the colors, you use basic colors on the paper in various layers to create transparent colors. In addition, she uses a latex masking fluid to mark off the white or light areas and preserve a “hard line”.  It is very slow going as you have to let each layer dry thoroughly before moving on. You can see I am making slow progress after two days of work on the daffodils.  I am pleased with the result (although you may find them ugly at this point, hang in there, I still have a long way to go!)
Finally I show you a total original work. Although I love pastels passionately, for the results are just gorgeous, I find that I am just too allergic. In addition, I really hate the nasty little mess they make. I use a mask and even gloves and still end up with a stuffy nose and headaches. I am sorry for that, for I always thought that pastels would be specialty. But watercolors and colored pencils cause me no health problems, so I guess I will probably stick to them. This is from a photo of my sister’s cat who sadly passed away, at a very young age. I think you can see the love in his eye. He was a lovely young man of five and really lends himself to using pastels. When we get some nice weather and I can work outside again, I’ll get back to working on him.
These days of Carnaval are my most productive of the whole year, so it may be a while before I time to finish any other “works of art”.  But now you are caught up in that department.