Early to bed and early to rise...

Makes me tired. (If you are confused, read the title!). Hopefully it makes be healthier and wise, although I think we can skip the wealthier.
Thank you for praying for me, because I know God is responding by giving me the inclination to do what needs to be done. Today marks one week that I have been able to get up and walk for 2 miles a day (of course not on Sunday!). I have also succeeded in doing my aqua fitness 3 days a week as well. I am also managing to sleep earlier and get up a little early than my normal. Can't say I have energy overflowing, but at least I don't feel like I am dying either. And I know it's what I need to do, so I feel good about that. Being physically active has never been an easy thing for me. I would much rather curl up with a good book and bowl of ice cream. This all goes contrary to my nature. But then I think that is what Paul was writing about when he talks about being controlled by the flesh and the spirit. I continually pray that I may demonstrate the fruit of the spirit and not the flesh.
Oh, I actually have a photo to post. Recently we bought some "bean bag" chairs for our TV room. They are so comfy. I drifted off to sleep the other night sitting in one. I love the bright colours that actually match the bed and curtains. Now I need to find just the right colourful throw rug and a big bright modern art painting. Well, that will have to wait. (Money doesn't grow on trees even in a tropical country!)
Last night I had the officers from church over for supper (with João and I that made 10 people) and they liked seeing the apartment. As someone commented, it's a big apartment and it's going to take time to get it totally furnished the way I want it. Patience is the key. I won't go into debt - against my principles.
I loved having the folks over last night. On Saturday the seminary students will be coming. They, however, won't get the Chicken Divan. They get hot dogs -with all the fixings, however! Somehow that fits more with their image. Besides, on Saturday I can't spend 5 hours preparing a meal. I think they will like my new chairs.
What else is new? I was able to buy tickets for João's parents to fly down to visit us. It was a very special promotional offer to buy on the internet after 10PM - the return ticket only cost $1! They have never flown, so this ought to be a real "trip" (literally speaking!) for them. I can't wait, although it won't be until Oct. 19th. And my trip to visit my family is only 5 weeks off! Yipee! Hope you are having as much fun living as I am.

ARGH!

One of the things I don't miss about Canada (sorry, folks!) is the health care system. I felt like I was falling apart during my time there. I have begun to search out specialists here (no need for a family doctor to recommend you) and get some exams to find out where I stand. One of the interesting and different aspects here is that you make your own appointments for any exams and then you pick up the results (or get them over the internet) to take to the doctor. The exams stay with you, so you can carry them around and show them to various doctors. I like the system. Mostly because you can compare results from the past, even if you change doctors. And because you can look them over and study them before visiting the doctor - being ready with your questions!
So my first exams are back (I also love that within a couple of weeks I saw the doctor, had a full battery of exams and got the results!). Good news - my bone scans shows no more signs of osteopenia - the beginnings of osteoporisis. Attributable to aqua-fitness, since I took no meds. Long live exercise!!!! I am even rated at 100% in my spinal column. Yeah.
Good news - I am reasonable healthy for my age and weight in the other exams. Bad news... I now have elevated cholesteral levels. They are exactly where they were 7 years ago. But the scales have changed and now I have high cholesteral. I was so pleased that I had controlled it, but lo and behold... not good enough. Oh dear. I already don't eat red meat or use anything except olive oil to cook with. No margarine or trans-fats, etc. So now... we are down to my last two options. Lose weight (hence the argh) and more exercise. I don't buy into the option of meds. Too many side effects. In addition my doctor asked for some extra tests, due to my family history and not surprisingly it showed that I have "metabolic syndrome". That is to say - I am overweight, too high of cholesterol, produce way too much insulin and am high risk for cardio-vascular disease (like I didn't know all that!!!). Haven't gotten all the exams back, so haven't been back yet, but I know the first two words out of her mouth will be... (now let's all say this together) "lose weight".
Since I've been reading about the importance of a good night's sleep - something I have been ignoring for a while - I have made some slight (actually huge) changes this past week. Computer and TV are off by 10PM. By 10:30 I am in bed reading and lights out by 11PM. That means I get up earlier (I've been waking up before 6AM!). So today I took at 45 vigorous walk before breakfast. I've had breakfast and will be leaving in a few minutes for aqua-fitness. No more eggs or cheese for breakfast. I'm back to yoghurt and strawberries and nuts and water. ARGH. If this healthy living doesn't kill me, I may live to be a 100 years old.
Actually I have let things slide in terms of my lifestyle, due to all the changes in my life this year. And I have gained some weight since arriving here. But this was just the kick in the pants I needed to wake me up. I don't care about being slim, as that will never happen. I do, however, want to be a good steward of this temple God has given me. So pray with me, that I will be obedient in this area and demonstrate the fruit of the spirit of self-control. Will you do that?

The Persistence of Memory

I know you all recognize this Salvador Dali painting and recently I felt a lot like I had suddenly been painted into something rather surreal. Our former church here in Rio, Cascadura, is currently without a pastor and João was invited to lead the prayer meeting on Wednesday night. So off we went. When we arrived and climbed the steps to the sanctuary, it felt to me like I was in a time warp. All the same people greeted us. The piano, the organ, the music leader... hadn't changed. I sat in my same pew. João led the service. And for almost the whole time I felt like I had never been to Canada at all. We were still back in Cascadura. So I ask... does time really exist, or is it just in our mind? When something like this happens, it is so strange. I knew everyone's name and could ask about their family and friends. I felt so very at home, not like a stranger at all. I had to consciously remind myself that this was no longer my reality. Much had happened since we left Cascadura in 2001. Somehow it was a nice warm feeling - fleeting though it was - to erase all the good-byes and feel like I had never left.
And I realized in that experience, that all the pain of ever leaving Brazil had long since fled my mind and heart (even before returning to Rio) and now I could just enjoy being back. At the same time it flashed into my mind that I have never fully given myself time to grieve over leaving Canada. Yeah I cried when I said good-bye. But in my joy of being here and our ministry, I have felt rather like it would be a betrayal of my gratitude to continue to miss Canada. There has been a certain pressure for me to quickly say that I don't miss Canada and have totally adjusted back to life in Brazil.
I think I have adjusted here. I am happy. I love where I am in my life. BUT (did you hear the other shoe drop?) I think I can feel all that and still be grieving for my loss. I can admit I miss my church, my friends, my home... even my cat. There are days I awaken and expect Sadik to come bounding in to jump on my chest. I feel a heaviness to remember that he never will do that again because he's still in Canada. There are days I awaken and put my feet on the floor and expect to feel that rush of cold on my feet and instead I step into hot and muggy. I want to run next door to the church and instead I must catch a taxi. I think about calling my friend to go to Costco, but instead I walk down to the butcher shop down the street. So I still have my time warps. You just can't be in two places at the same time, but my mind hasn't learned that yet. There is a time to let go and yet that is so hard. The memories ARE persistent!

OK! OK!

OK! I'll give it a try again. As I said previously, let's see what happens! Thanks for your nice comments and e-mails. I know a blog really is useful for keeping up... if the blogger writes new posts for the "bloggees" to read!
Today I awoke to the alarm clock, which only means one thing - it's Sunday. YEAH! My favourite day of the week. Today as I arrived at our beautiful church, we were a few minutes later than usual and I turned behind me to look and see what seemed like streams of people arriving all at the same time. What a beautiful site! Seeing that many people entering the church building was just wonderful. João and I were talking today about the fact that I half-way expected to miss worshipping in English, since that is very much my heart language, but that has not happened. I have experienced rich and deep worship here that has blessed my life. I can understand why people don't want to miss worship here.
Today I had a ton of kids for the children's message. I know because there was hardly room for them and because I had run off 30 copies of the worship guide for them (I prepare questions based on the sermon for them to give to me after church. I read them over and post them on the bulletin board) and I ran out. I am still surprised by the positive reception for this "moment" in the worship.
Tonight João is preaching on the subject "Down with Violence", very apropos for Rio de Janeiro. And our church. Our attendance is dramatically less at night than in the morning service. It's not laziness or lack of commitment. It is fear. Ours is a dangerous city. Our church is in a area of town that is not exactly... what shall I say?... as secure as people would wish for! I still think like an American and just can't get into the spirit of fear! It's true. It's not that I am brave or anything. More like just dumb enough to not know enough to be frightened or worried. I enjoy the evening worship, although I also thought I would find it tiring. How can it be tiring to be in God's house?
Right next door to the church is a large abandoned structure where many homeless families have moved in. What a mission field and challenge for us. Yes it is ugly and we would like for it not to be there. Yet how appropriate that we CANNOT shut our eyes to the violence or ugliness of poverty that surrounds us. We are forced to deal with it. You can see in the photo on the left that it is ugly - physically and spiritually. Will you pray with us for this great challenge?

Perhaps Good-bye

In the middle of night when I awaken and sleep refuses to return, I compose the most poetic of blog entries. Of course I always fall asleep (thinking about my blog seems to be a guaranteed soporific) and never remember my wonderful ideas. That seems to be only one of the many problems I am experiencing in adding any new entries to my blog.
I just can't seem to get on top of it. In fact, most people abandon their blog within a couple of months (as did my husband - he who got me into this thing in the first place). I have stuck with it for two years now, which is pretty incredible considering the fact that "stick-to-itiveness" is not my hallmark feature.
But I am beginning to think it may be time to close down the shop. I am a firm believer that when things don't function anymore it's time to fix them or throw them away. I believe that about things and institutions, not people!!! I hate being stuck with something just because I started it.
So here I am with this dilemna. Do I make myself write something now and then to satisfy my three or four readers? Or do I give up?
I'm not sure. What does my "vast" reading audience think? So far TWO people have complained it's been over two months without a new entry. They have generously assumed it is because I am too busy.
That is not the truth.
In fact I am living a marvelously tranquil lifestyle because that is what I have chosen for myself these days. I do not wish to be stressed and over committed. I want to learn to live in a "Circle of Quiet".
I have to time to write my blog.
The problem is finding anything to say.
I don't have earth shattering fascinating events happening in my life.
Nor do I have fantastic philosophical thoughts passing through my head.
And well my personal thoughts and events... are just that. I am at a place in my life where it is neither prudent or desireable to expose to others all that is going on. And I guess that leaves me just slightly inhibited. I have not yet fully learned how to be discreet. I tend to be spontaneous... combustible and not ponderous and contained in my expressions. I am trying. In fact I am even doing a personal Bible study on what the Bible says about controlling one's tongue. It has a lot to say. Everyday I remind myself "Listen more, say less". For someone as verbose as I am, that is hard. I am trying not to interupt as much and to listen more.
See what just happened? In trying to explain why I have nothing to say, I wrote paragraphs and paragraphs.
Now all that is a good excuse for just ending "Peggy's Penlines", but I have a nagging suspicion that there is more to it than that. It's not just a lack of motivation, or a sudden new desire to stop talking about myself. I even think it's more than writer's block - thinking I just don't have anything interesting to talk about. I'm not sure.
I'll think about it.
And if I find there's hope for this blog, you'll find more entries. (And although I would like to have some comments on what you think about this, I really am not asking you to beg me continue!)
If not, one day you will access it and it will be gone.
Let's see what happens.