Perhaps Good-bye

In the middle of night when I awaken and sleep refuses to return, I compose the most poetic of blog entries. Of course I always fall asleep (thinking about my blog seems to be a guaranteed soporific) and never remember my wonderful ideas. That seems to be only one of the many problems I am experiencing in adding any new entries to my blog.
I just can't seem to get on top of it. In fact, most people abandon their blog within a couple of months (as did my husband - he who got me into this thing in the first place). I have stuck with it for two years now, which is pretty incredible considering the fact that "stick-to-itiveness" is not my hallmark feature.
But I am beginning to think it may be time to close down the shop. I am a firm believer that when things don't function anymore it's time to fix them or throw them away. I believe that about things and institutions, not people!!! I hate being stuck with something just because I started it.
So here I am with this dilemna. Do I make myself write something now and then to satisfy my three or four readers? Or do I give up?
I'm not sure. What does my "vast" reading audience think? So far TWO people have complained it's been over two months without a new entry. They have generously assumed it is because I am too busy.
That is not the truth.
In fact I am living a marvelously tranquil lifestyle because that is what I have chosen for myself these days. I do not wish to be stressed and over committed. I want to learn to live in a "Circle of Quiet".
I have to time to write my blog.
The problem is finding anything to say.
I don't have earth shattering fascinating events happening in my life.
Nor do I have fantastic philosophical thoughts passing through my head.
And well my personal thoughts and events... are just that. I am at a place in my life where it is neither prudent or desireable to expose to others all that is going on. And I guess that leaves me just slightly inhibited. I have not yet fully learned how to be discreet. I tend to be spontaneous... combustible and not ponderous and contained in my expressions. I am trying. In fact I am even doing a personal Bible study on what the Bible says about controlling one's tongue. It has a lot to say. Everyday I remind myself "Listen more, say less". For someone as verbose as I am, that is hard. I am trying not to interupt as much and to listen more.
See what just happened? In trying to explain why I have nothing to say, I wrote paragraphs and paragraphs.
Now all that is a good excuse for just ending "Peggy's Penlines", but I have a nagging suspicion that there is more to it than that. It's not just a lack of motivation, or a sudden new desire to stop talking about myself. I even think it's more than writer's block - thinking I just don't have anything interesting to talk about. I'm not sure.
I'll think about it.
And if I find there's hope for this blog, you'll find more entries. (And although I would like to have some comments on what you think about this, I really am not asking you to beg me continue!)
If not, one day you will access it and it will be gone.
Let's see what happens.