Have you ever?

Have you ever just wanted to do something and then impulsively done it? While I can be an impulsive person in expressing what I am feeling (read: I don't know how to hide my emotions), I usually am not impulsive in my actions. I think about what I am going to do and play and replay things out before and after I do anything. My brain tends to think quickly, so I have more time than most people for playing out any given scenario. And since I am very much a control freak, I like to plan everything out pretty meticulously. I don't like for things to be out of my control. That's why I often resist change when it is not something I have instigated. This week, however, I expressed that I wanted to do something and before I had time to really think it out, it was happening.
This year I just haven't been able to get in the mood for Christmas. I put up the tree, but have played no Christmas music and have not even turned on the lights. There is going to be no special Christmas service at church - no cantatas, no Christmas sermons, no children's program. It's like everyone has gone on strike.
I have very much just been going through the motions, without the emotions - although I never want to be piloted by emotions, it's kinda nice when they match up with what you are doing. And usually I can force play my emotions into following my actions. Just didn't work.
When I mentioned to João that I thought I was missing my family, he asked why I didn't just fly home for Christmas. I thought that was nuts, since I like to plan things out for months. Usually my suitcase is packed weeks in advance. Besides, I mentioned, this is high rates season. Tickets run $3,000-5,000. No way. But he told me to look anyway. So I did. I found a crazy flight (leaves at 6AM and gets in at 11PM) that was dirt cheap. There were seats available. I booked a reservation and paid for it and now in about 11 more days I'll be in the US with my family for a few days for Christmas. Can you believe it? Little 'ole non-spontaneous me. I just did it. I don't think I can really believe I did it. Neither can my family. I think it will be good for all of us. It will be a respite from the heat for me and a chance to share Christmas with my immediate family. And João's girls will get to have a Christmas just with their dad. That will be nice for them too. So, there you go. Have you ever just wanted to do something you thought you couldn't? And then did it? Well I did!